The male's role in sex – How to be the "dominant partner"

The male's role in sexual activity: the dominant partner

Due to differences in the anatomy and physiology of their reproductive systems, men and women occupy different roles in sexual activity. Men typically hold a more active position, hence the common saying that men are the "aggressors" in sex. So, how can men effectively take the lead in sexual activity?

1. Men should take a proactive approach to initiating sexual activity. While sexual activity is a shared activity for both men and women, women's sexual desire is generally not as strong as men's, and they often cannot initiate it naturally. Therefore, they must rely on male stimulation. The methods men use are nothing more than stimulating women through language, actions, and physical gestures, especially targeting their erogenous zones. Sometimes, short phrases or coded messages that couples like to exchange, as well as special expressions or actions understood between them, can all serve to stimulate and arouse sexual desire. Generally, this sexual arousal should occur before going to bed, thus shortening the preparation time for intercourse.

2. Men must be patient and avoid rushing things. Even if both partners are sexually aroused before bedtime due to sufficient sexual stimulation, intercourse should not begin too early. In the initial stages of female sexual development, pleasure is obtained through a variety of means, such as kissing, hugging, sweet talk, and touching the breasts and perineum. As libido develops and vaginal secretions become sufficiently lubricating, pleasure gradually focuses on the external genitalia, leading to the desire for intercourse. If intercourse begins too early, it not only affects the woman's pleasure but also, due to insufficient vaginal lubrication and dryness, can cause premature ejaculation and discomfort for her. The time required for foreplay varies from person to person, ranging from a few minutes to several tens of minutes. Generally, intercourse can begin once vaginal secretions have become abundant and the vagina is sufficiently lubricated. During this stage, women often enjoy touching or kissing the man's erogenous zones to obtain pleasure. If a man cannot control his ejaculation time well or has premature ejaculation, the woman should restrain her teasing of the man to avoid causing premature ejaculation and spoiling the mood.

3. Men should exercise self-control and strive to reach orgasm simultaneously with their wives. Intercourse should be closely coordinated, aiming for both partners to reach orgasm simultaneously or sequentially. Male libido develops quickly; without control, continuous penile friction within the vagina can lead to orgasm and ejaculation within minutes. However, female libido develops more slowly, generally taking 10 minutes to half an hour to reach orgasm. Therefore, premature ejaculation makes it difficult for women to achieve maximum pleasure, inevitably affecting the satisfaction of sexual intercourse. Thus, during intercourse, men should strive to delay ejaculation, waiting for the woman's orgasm. They should not disregard their own release and the partner's satisfaction. A common approach is for the man to avoid continuous friction, moving intermittently and changing positions occasionally. This allows both partners to achieve sexual satisfaction while waiting for the opportune moment. Once the woman reaches orgasm, the man can quickly ejaculate through continuous, forceful friction, allowing both to achieve maximum pleasure sequentially.

4. Men should not neglect post-coital caresses. Sexual intercourse generally ends with male ejaculation. After ejaculation, male libido immediately disappears, the penis softens, and the man feels tired and sleepy. However, while the woman has experienced maximum pleasure, her sexual desire is not fully satisfied, and she desires physical intimacy or an embrace. If the man does not understand this desire after intercourse and ignores it, falling asleep, the woman will feel a lack of sexual desire. Therefore, after intercourse, the man should continue to provide necessary caresses, such as embracing and touching. It should be noted that sexual activity is a joint activity for both partners, requiring close cooperation from both. The husband needs initiative, and the woman needs passion; only in this way can a harmonious sexual life be achieved, and both partners attain complete sexual satisfaction. If one partner is indifferent or lacks enthusiasm for sex, the couple will never achieve a fulfilling and harmonious sexual life.