Men Can Also Shed Tears: On Emotional Coping, Obesity Psychology, and Crisis Adjustment in Middle-Aged Men

Men are born with the title of "man," and men are often seen as unable to cry; they are expected to be strong, brave, and shoulder the responsibilities society bestows upon them. Women, when feeling suppressed or distressed, can confide in friends or have a good cry to relieve their tension and pain. Men, however, are different. They cannot confide in others, lest they be seen as weak; they cannot cry, for fear of being accused of being "weak." Men's pain and suffering must be kept inside. To vent these emotions, some men choose unhealthy habits such as overeating, excessive drinking, and smoking. This not only fails to relieve stress but also harms their health. Psychological studies suggest that men aged 40-65 have a three times higher incidence of cardiovascular disease than women. This is partly due to the protective effect of estrogen in women, and partly due to the higher stress levels experienced by middle-aged men compared to women, which they often fail to manage effectively. When stress reaches its limit, it eventually accumulates and leads to illness, causing not only mental health issues but also cardiovascular diseases. American physician Frey believed that people should cry when they need to. He said that men are more prone to ulcers than women, often because men force themselves not to cry when faced with sad events. If they could have a good cry, the incidence of ulcers would be significantly reduced. Moreover, crying not only relieves stress emotionally but also helps expel harmful substances from the body. Men should learn to manage their pain; when feeling overwhelmed by pressure, they can actively seek someone to confide in, such as family, spouse, or friends. If, for some reason, they cannot confide in these people, they may seek help from a psychologist. In the process of confiding, men can release their stress. When confiding cannot resolve the pressure, a good cry is also a good option, as it not only helps reduce frustration and stress but also prevents illness. The increasing number of obese middle-aged people is becoming a new social problem. As the saying goes, "The longer the belt, the shorter the lifespan." Obesity can indeed lead to many health problems in middle-aged people, and a variety of diseases are associated with being overweight, such as angina pectoris, hypertension, arteriosclerosis, stroke, intermittent claudication, herniated discs, osteoarthritis, varicose veins, gallstones, cirrhosis, diabetes, and various joint diseases of the back, hip, knee, and ankle. Overweight people have a much higher incidence of complications and a greater risk of death than normal-weight individuals during accidents and surgeries. Furthermore, obese individuals face many limitations due to their physical condition. For example, they easily feel fatigued when engaging in physical activities and manual labor; in summer, the thick layer of fat acts like a blanket, hindering heat dissipation, causing them more unspeakable suffering than normal-weight individuals, and physical discomfort often brings them psychological distress. In reality, obese individuals do face much more physical and mental stress than normal-weight individuals and need stronger psychological resilience. However, the opposite is true; obese individuals are often psychologically fragile, finding it difficult to overcome the aforementioned pressures and maintain harmony with their surroundings. How should middle-aged men adjust to psychological crises in their lives? To adjust to psychological crises in their lives, middle-aged men should first change the following tendencies and bad behaviors: (1) Complaining: When middle-aged men start complaining, it proves that a psychological crisis may be beginning. Don't think that it will get better in a few days. At this time, you need to talk to your family about your troubles, your frustrations, and your dissatisfactions. At the same time, try new things in life with your family that you have never tried before, such as cooking a creative dish, cleaning or doing housework together. These are all good ways to alleviate psychological crises. (2) Sexual frigidity: When you don't want to have sex, don't force yourself. Accept the fact that you are no longer young, forget those romantic May-December romances and extramarital affairs, and communicate more with your wife. You will find that your hearts are still so close. (3) Alcoholism: Using too much life pressure as an excuse to drink alcohol is an escape and cannot solve any fundamental problems. Dependence on alcohol only proves that you are insecure. Even if middle-aged men drink, they should control the "moderation" and use the time to numb themselves to think about solving problems. (4) Depression: When feeling down or depressed, talk to your partner about topics like growth and life. You can also talk about the most perplexing problems at work and ask her for advice. This feeling of overcoming difficulties together and depending on each other will deepen your relationship. (5) Excessive nostalgia: There's nothing wrong with being nostalgic, but don't deny the decisions you've made or the facts that have happened. Instead of complaining, think about how you could do better now. If you want to reminisce, remember how well you played basketball or how fluent you were in English in high school. Nostalgia is a joy, while regret ages you. (6) Frustration: In middle age, many life changes seem to happen more frequently, such as the unexpected death of relatives and friends, a sharp drop in company profits, and soaring prices. These troubling life events often exacerbate feelings of frustration. At this time, don't let frustration weigh you down. In addition to seeing a psychologist or confiding in a close elder, avoid the hustle and bustle of the city and find a quiet place to retreat with your partner for a few days. Your mood will improve a lot. It is normal to experience a midlife crisis. As long as middle-aged men pay attention to various signs and make corresponding and positive adjustments, they will be able to get through this period.