Male criteria for choosing a partner: age, physical appearance, character, and shared interests.

Male love and sex

How to choose a spouse

Choosing the right marriage partner not only affects whether you find love, but also whether you will have a happy married life.

Men and women in my country hold different standards for choosing a spouse. Their varying life experiences, levels of education, and moral character lead to different priorities when choosing a partner. Most people place greater emphasis on the following aspects:

1. Choices regarding the age difference between men and women

While the national marriage law does not stipulate age restrictions for marriage, such differences objectively exist, with the custom of the man being older than the woman being more common. Men generally prefer their wives to be a few years younger than themselves, with an age difference of about 1 to 4 years. The reason for this preference is that they hope their wives will be gentle, lovely, respectful, and dependent on them. They also hope that their wives' figures will change less after childbirth. 60-70% of men have this requirement, about 20% hope for wives of similar age, and very few desire older wives.

Women tend to seek older partners, with younger women choosing partners earlier, leading to a gradual shift in the age of marriage. This not only impacts their work and studies during their youth but also causes serious social and psychological problems. Young women who find partners too early are often less adaptable to academic and life situations, rarely achieving good results. They often lack warmth at home and seek compensation in romantic relationships.

If one is not well-adjusted in these areas, their degree of adjustment in the marital relationship will also be very low.

Low. Those well-adjusted young women dedicate all their energy to learning and building a foundation, hoping to achieve greater success, and are not in a hurry to choose a partner; some even miss their chance. Therefore, it is not advisable for men to solely pursue "younger" partners. As long as both parties are compatible, age difference is not a problem.

2. Choices based on physical appearance

Generally, both men and women require their partners to be healthy. Women often prefer men who are strong, while men often prefer women who are beautiful, such as slender, fair-skinned, and with attractive features, providing aesthetic enjoyment. Different people have different aesthetic views. Aesthetic views can be refined or vulgar. Everyone should cultivate their own refined aesthetic views and pay attention to revising their aesthetic standards. Aesthetic psychology suggests that the generation of aesthetic feeling is a process. Only after a comprehensive understanding of the object, not only perceiving its form but also resonating with its content, can one more profoundly experience its beauty. Therefore, judging a person solely by their appearance is one-sided. For example, one might find a woman's appearance pleasing at first sight, but later discover her flaws, misbehavior, and incompatibility, and then find her unattractive. Conversely, some women may not be outwardly beautiful, but become beautiful after prolonged contact. Therefore, both men and women should not judge a person by their appearance when choosing a partner, nor should they fall in love at first sight too quickly, as this inevitably leads to mistakes and regrets. It is essential to have a relatively long period of time to get to know, understand, and appreciate the other person in order to truly mature one's aesthetic sense.

3. Choice based on character

Character mainly refers to a person's moral qualities, which include honesty, diligence, respect for elders and love for children, politeness, and respect for laws and regulations. These are the conditions that must be considered when choosing a leave of absence.

When choosing a spouse, men increasingly seek women who are gentle, virtuous, well-educated, thrifty, and simple in character-in other words, they place greater emphasis on a woman's moral qualities. These qualities represent the highest level of a person's psychological structure, relating to her social adaptability and development, as well as the stability, harmony, and happiness of their love life. However, some men pursue the ideal wife and mother, driven by the motivation of submissiveness and service. This unrealistic motivation must be corrected, as the traditional role of women as dependent on and subservient to men is changing, and women possessing the qualities they demand are becoming increasingly rare. Simply requiring a wife to be virtuous in managing the household is far from sufficient; these qualities alone are insufficient to keep pace with today's rapid societal development. To adapt to reality, one must discard those qualities that are no longer suitable. It's not enough to simply pursue virtue; one must also imbue "virtue" with new meaning, fostering mutual understanding and support in both partners' careers, thus enriching, fulfilling, and developing their love.

4. Choices based on temperament

When choosing a partner, both men and women generally place great importance on the other person's temperament and personality, such as courage and perseverance, gentleness, warmth, and composure in the face of adversity, and hope that the other person can be harmonious and consistent with them.

Men generally prefer women who are "gentle" in character and temperament. They hope their partners are tender, compliant, and quiet. Women, on the other hand, tend to prefer men who are strong, resilient, generous, decisive, and straightforward. The main reason men seek "gentleness" and women seek "strength" is that they feel their own "strength" or "gentleness" are balanced, hoping to achieve a harmonious balance and psychological compensation, avoid conflict and pain, and receive more warmth and care from their partners. Of course, it's also undesirable for some women to lack independent thought and personality, being overly compliant and lacking a strong character. Some men also seek "gentleness" because they want a woman who is docile and easy to control; this is also undesirable.

5. Choice of interests

Interests can have two meanings: one is hobbies and interests, and the other is values ​​and life philosophy. Both men and women should consider this aspect when choosing a partner, requiring that their partner share similar interests.

When choosing a partner, women often require the man to have broad interests and diverse hobbies, sharing common ground and aspirations in literature, art, philosophy, sports, and other aspects of life. Men, on the other hand, place greater emphasis on shared values ​​and life philosophies, requiring the woman to be compatible with them in various areas, possessing a deep understanding and evaluation of social development, reform measures, corporate competition, strategies for adapting to society, the value of knowledge, and academic qualifications, and that their views and actions are supported by her. A harmonious relationship is built upon shared understanding and evaluation. With social development and the improvement of economic and cultural levels, the criteria for choosing a partner are gradually shifting towards valuing personality traits, talent, appearance, and spiritual life.

6. Choices based on knowledge and skills

When choosing a partner, women tend to prioritize a man's knowledge, abilities, career, work, and social success. Men, on the other hand, are primarily motivated by a desire to achieve success and fulfill their responsibilities in society, while also seeking a warm and supportive family environment to provide comfort and compensation amidst their struggles. Women also desire work, social interaction, and a richer spiritual life, and they hope for their partner's support in their careers, with a growing emphasis on achieving success in their professional lives. It is unreasonable for either partner to completely delegate household chores and expect the other to sacrifice themselves to meet their needs. This can objectively harm the other's material and emotional well-being. The ideal approach for young and middle-aged couples today is to share household chores, with one partner working and the other managing the household. Both partners should prioritize home management skills, ensuring their own careers are maintained while allowing the other to pursue their own. This is the appropriate standard for choosing a partner.