Sexual life of young men: abstinence to conserve sperm and marriage at an appropriate age

Sexual life of young men

Young men are physically strong, in the prime of their growth and development, full of energy, emotionally vulnerable, and with strong, uncontrollable sexual desires. They often lack necessary sexual knowledge and experience, making them prone to becoming addicted to sex or developing a masturbation habit, which depletes their kidney essence, causing excessive sexual activity and leading to various illnesses. As stated in the "Four Essentials of Health Preservation": "In youth, one's energy is abundant and easily overflows. At this time, with abundant blood and energy, coupled with the desires of young women, desires are aroused, and sexual activity becomes excessive. Like a flower in a garden, it will wither before it blooms, let alone those with weak constitutions." This illustrates that if young men are full of energy and cannot control themselves, excessive sexual activity can cause immeasurable harm.

1. Acquire necessary sex education knowledge

Sexual intercourse, as an important part of young couples' lives and a normal physiological need, is often difficult to discuss and pursue due to the influence of traditional feudal consciousness. People tend to leave it to its own devices, neglecting to learn necessary knowledge about sexual intercourse. Clinically, cases of sexual organ damage, sexually transmitted infections, and sexual dysfunction due to a lack of sexual knowledge are common. Therefore, it is essential for young couples to learn about sexual psychology, sexual medicine, and marital health. As Chen Ziming stated in *Complete Collection of Prescriptions for Women: A Thousand Gold Pieces for Seeking a Son*: "Marriage and procreation are the foundation of human relations and the basis of royal governance. Even after the sages passed away, their teachings were often discussed, yet later generations often fail to fully understand them. On the day of intercourse, they are often confused and foolish, which is the error of wishing to be wise while being inferior to others." It is evident that mastering knowledge about sexual intercourse has a positive impact on harmonious sexual relations and eugenics.

2. One should not rush into marriage; marriage should be done at the appropriate age.

Traditional Chinese medicine believes that "if a man deflowers too early, his essence is damaged; if a woman deflowers too early, her blood vessels are damaged," advocating for marriage at an appropriate age and emphasizing the harm of early sexual activity. For example, the *Zhu Shi Yi Shu* states: "The concubines of King Shou of Jianping were all beautiful, but he had no children. He chose unmarried girls from common families to marry him, but they also had no children. He asked: 'Is there a proper way to obtain a son?' Cheng replied: 'The union of man and woman must be at the appropriate age. Even if a man is sixteen and has reached sexual maturity, he should marry at thirty; even if a woman is fourteen and her menstrual period begins, she should marry at twenty. Both desire that yin and yang be fully developed before intercourse, conception, and childbirth, resulting in a strong, healthy, and long-lived child. Now, these unmarried girls have just reached their menstrual period, yet they are already engaging in sexual activity with men, causing premature depletion of their yin energy. Their incomplete development leads to injury, and their premature arousal results in infertility. Therefore, they cannot conceive, and their children are weak and short-lived. This is why the king has no children.'" This points out that premature intercourse with underage girls was the main reason for King Shou's childlessness. Later, King Shou heeded the advice of the Zhu family and married a healthy adult woman, and indeed, he soon had sons and daughters. Sexual intercourse before adulthood not only depletes kidney essence and damages vital energy, thus affecting growth and development, but also extends to offspring, potentially leading to childlessness, infertility, or children who are fragile, sickly, or short-lived. Therefore, it is essential to promote marriage at an appropriate age, oppose premature sexual intercourse, and abstain from premarital sex. The latter, due to psychological, physiological, and environmental limitations, often has adverse effects and can even lead to illness. As stated in *Wu Yao Yuan Quan* (The Essentials of No Medicine), "Premature sexual intercourse depletes vital energy and is the cause of premature death," a statement based on experience.

3. There is an art to sexual intercourse, the key being spiritual communion.

Traditional Chinese medicine believes that when couples engage in sexual intercourse, both should be in a relaxed and harmonious mood, with their vital energies flowing smoothly. This is beneficial to their physical and mental health and also helps them conceive. As Shen Jin'ao of the Qing Dynasty said, "When men and women are aroused and their spirits are in harmony, they can then engage in intercourse. This ensures the balance of Yin and Yang, and the union of essence and blood, which is the proper way." Conversely, if the couple does not resonate with each other during intercourse, it will be harmful rather than beneficial. As stated in *Yixin Fang* (Medical Prescriptions for the Heart) under the section on Harmony: "The man sings and the woman responds, the superior leads and the inferior follows; this is the natural order of things. If the man moves but the woman does not respond, or the woman moves but the man does not follow, it not only harms the man but also the woman. ... The Yellow Emperor said: 'During intercourse, if the woman is not pleased, her body does not move, her fluids do not flow, her penis is not strong, small and weak, how can this be?' The Mysterious Woman said: 'Yin and Yang respond to each other, therefore Yang is not pleased without Yin, and Yin is not aroused without Yang. If the man desires intercourse but the woman is not happy, or the woman desires intercourse but the man is not, their hearts are not in sync, their essence and energy do not resonate, and if there is a sudden and forceful act, pleasure is not given. When the man desires the woman and the woman desires the man, both are pleased, therefore the woman's body is aroused, and the man's penis is strong.'" Thus, mutual pleasure and resonance are prerequisites for a fulfilling sexual relationship.

4. Practice moderation in sexual desire and conserve your vital energy.

Young couples, strong in body and spirit, often rely on their abundant energy and are prone to frequent intercourse. However, this inevitably depletes their kidney essence, leading to weakness and illness. As ancient physicians said, "Excessive sexual activity will deplete one's essence within six months, bringing one closer to death; young people must be extremely cautious." Therefore, physicians throughout history have repeatedly emphasized the importance of moderation for young people. For example, the "Essential Readings on Hygiene" states, "When young and vigorous, how can one indulge in solitary sexual activity? One must be moderate and cherish one's spirit, avoiding unrestrained and continuous indulgence." Moderation does not mean abstinence. Generally speaking, normal and regular sexual activity is beneficial to health, but excessive indulgence should be avoided. Excessive indulgence can not only cause fatigue, dizziness, and palpitations, but also neurasthenia and sexual dysfunction. The key to moderation for young people lies in moderate sexual activity; both excess and deficiency are undesirable.