Article 26: Detachment from Fame and Fortune is Good for Health; The Wisdom of Letting Go and Reducing Stress

Don't value fame and fortune too much.

Mr. Song is an architect with highly skilled expertise. He frequently wins prestigious national architectural design awards and was promoted to a leadership position at a young age.

Over the years, due to the heavy workload of administrative affairs, Mr. Song appeared very old and his health was also very weak. Because of irregular daily eating habits, he also developed a severe stomach ulcer and had two-thirds of his stomach removed.

At this time, he had just turned forty-two, but had already been in the hospital for two months. He suddenly understood some principles and figured out many things. After being discharged from the hospital, he voluntarily requested to step down from his leadership position.

Then, Mr. Song returned to his hometown and worked alongside his neighbors, tilling the land and planting vegetables. Working from dawn till dusk every day, his health actually improved. For him, this return to rural life, though simple and frugal, brought him true happiness.

Many middle-aged men feel overwhelmed by pressure because they are too demanding of themselves, have excessively high expectations, and place too much importance on fame and fortune. In reality, simply learning to let go and relinquish things appropriately can bring significant health benefits to both mind and body.

Why is being indifferent to fame and fortune beneficial to health? In the health preservation methods of the "sages" recorded in the *Neijing* (Inner Canon of Medicine), a very important point is: "no worries about thoughts," meaning no mental burdens or mental strain. The greatest worry about thoughts is being preoccupied with gains and losses, and the greatest mental burden is the shackles of fame and fortune.

Those who are indifferent to fame and fortune believe that fame and fortune are like fleeting clouds, something we cannot take with us when we are born or when we die, so why bother being so calculating or taking them so seriously? They are not troubled by unreasonable desires and do not worry about gains and losses, nor are they bound by the shackles of fame and fortune and engage in underhanded schemes. They take things lightly, think things through, have an open mind, and are broad-minded and natural, which is what is meant by "the absence of worries about thought."

Because they are pure of heart and have few desires, cultivate themselves through tranquility, and nurture their virtue through frugality, they avoid many unnecessary disputes and troubles, and are always cheerful, optimistic, and happy. This is what we often call "being indifferent to fame and fortune, and finding joy in contentment" and "few desires bring a refreshed spirit, while excessive thinking weakens one's vitality."

Modern medicine has proven that positive emotions such as joy, optimism, cheerfulness, and happiness can enhance the vitality of the brain and nervous system, coordinate the activities of various systems in the body, help unleash the potential of the entire body, and benefit physical and mental health.

Conversely, the pursuit of fame and fortune is detrimental to health. Consider these people: some claim to "not seek fame or fortune, but only to contribute." Yet, upon seeing others prosper, enjoy successful careers, and rise rapidly in rank, they feel resentful, believing society has been unfair to them. They become constantly complaining, depressed, and increasingly angry. In reality, they still place too much importance on fame and fortune, a significant factor contributing to the psychological unhealthiness of many today.

Some people, in their pursuit of fame and fortune, are always scheming and calculating, constantly under immense pressure. Modern medicine has proven that negative emotions such as tension, fear, and depression act as catalysts that can activate disease-causing genes. The human body naturally possesses disease-causing genes, which are suppressed when emotions are normal, like imprisoned beasts, unable to act rashly. However, negative emotions are like a key suddenly unlocking the cage, releasing the beast. Disease, like a beast broken free of its cage, will then wreak havoc on the body.

At the age of 82, the literary giant Bing Xin summarized her health regimen with the theme "Tranquility leads to clarity of mind, serenity leads to far-reaching goals." "Tranquility" is a noble state of mind, a kind of open-mindedness gained after experiencing life's hardships. With tranquility, one can calmly face the vicissitudes of life and the coldness of human relationships; this state of mind is a fundamental condition for health and longevity.

"When you're young, you risk your life for money; when you're old, you try to buy back your life with money." Work isn't everything, nor is career. Family isn't dispensable, and rest isn't insignificant. Learn to let go and focus on the long term. Overworking yourself is unacceptable; maintain the best work quality as well as the best physical health. Middle-aged men need to learn how to adjust their work pace to avoid being overwhelmed by excessive workloads!

Therefore, one must learn to be indifferent to fame and fortune. When fame and fortune are in conflict with one's health, one must learn to skip over them, make choices, remain indifferent, and avoid them.

When you take fame and fortune lightly, your heart naturally becomes serene. While others wear fur coats and tiger-skin robes, you wear a simple blue robe; while others feast on lavish meals and are tired of seafood, you eat simple rice porridge; while others drive Audis, Buicks, and Mercedes, you ride a beat-up bicycle to and from work; while others live in opulent private villas, you live in a humble thatched hut... This is detachment-a peaceful transcendence, a tranquility free from worldly strife.

Sometimes, detachment is a form of suffering; poverty troubles you, and loneliness accompanies you. On a deep, quiet rainy night, facing the classics, you feel as if you are carrying the cross of your soul and conversing with the sages. Detachment may be a form of escapism, but when you take fame and fortune lightly, you will naturally experience a taste of transcendence.

People need to learn to adjust themselves appropriately and avoid being under high pressure for extended periods, as this is absolutely detrimental to life. If you're too tired, take a break, lighten your load, and relax.

Develop good reading and learning habits in daily life, and cultivate work skills in a timely manner to reduce work stress; create a warm and harmonious family environment, live a rhythmic life, and reduce stress in life.

Seize opportunities, avoid risks; be proactive yet content; be optimistic and open-minded, avoid being overly perfectionistic, and don't put excessive pressure on yourself or others; be good at cooperating with others, and balance work and rest; seek help promptly when under too much pressure; cultivate an interest and learn one or two relaxation techniques, such as listening to music or playing sports. Don't treat yourself like a balloon, blowing yourself up until you burst.

A marriage lacking novelty

Mr. Xiao, 45 years old, has been married for a full twenty years. In these twenty years, he experienced the sweetness of early marriage, the quarrels and disputes of the first two years, the aesthetic fatigue after four years, and the emotional crisis of the "seven-year itch"... Now his only son has gone to university in another city, and he has returned to the "world of two" he has been away from for a long time.

However, the once beautiful woman has become a bloated, haggard woman, and her gentle words have turned into harsh and loud rebukes. Faced with such a wife, Mr. Xiao often feels speechless.

He couldn't help but lament that married life was just a concerto of daily chores, and the novelty and passion had long been worn away by the trivialities. The two of them were just making do with each other's lives.

Now, he's used to staying in the office after get off work to read the newspaper or meet up with friends for tea and conversation. Even when he gets home and has dinner, he focuses on watching TV or playing cards online. He only gives brief replies when his wife speaks to him.

The marital relationship is an intimate and special interpersonal relationship, and it is the longest-lasting relationship pattern in a person's life. However, the marital relationship is not static. From meeting, falling in love, getting married, having children, to spending their twilight years together, the marital relationship goes through several important developmental stages, and each stage has its own characteristics and challenges.

Middle age is a turbulent time in marriage, and also the most difficult period for the development of marital relationships. A lack of novelty in daily life, silence between spouses, or frequent verbal abuse are common phenomena in married life. If middle-aged men cannot handle these issues properly, the marital relationship may be interrupted or terminated.

So, what issues should middle-aged men pay attention to in real life to ensure a happy and harmonious marital relationship? As a husband, a man should be aware of some common misconceptions that affect marital harmony. These misconceptions are as follows:

Myth 1: The longer a couple is together, the more stable their relationship will be, and whether or not they communicate emotionally is irrelevant.

Experts analyze that time can be an external factor and a helpful force, but its length or amount cannot replace the quality of love and marriage.

Myth 2: In a happy marriage, one spouse never tells the other about their personal difficulties and worries.

Experts analyze that genuine and profound feelings stem from mutual understanding, and arise from sincerity and frankness. As a man, you should also let the other person know what kind of help you need.

Myth 3: A happy family life cannot have conflicts. In order to avoid arguments, couples should always be tolerant and accommodating.

Experts analyze that unprincipled compromise and concessions only create a sense of oppression. Over time, dissatisfaction can evolve into resentment, which can suddenly erupt and even escalate to the point of breaking up the marital relationship.

Myth 4: When you get older, it doesn't matter whether you have love or not.

Experts analyze that as society's material civilization improves, people's spiritual needs have entered a higher stage. The psychological imbalance caused by the fast-paced and stressful life makes emotional replenishment even more necessary. Moreover, love cannot be defined by age. In fact, it is evident that middle-aged couples have higher expectations for love as they age.