Analysis of the nature of sexual fantasies and the four stages of male sexual response

Men's sexual fantasies often have a "self-motivating" effect. Statistics show that men's sexual fantasies are usually directed towards the people around them who most arouse their desire, or the people they find most attractive. Having sex with two or more women simultaneously is a common sexual fantasy for many men; they may also fantasize about spying on others having sex, fantasize about having sex in front of others, or even fantasize about another man having sex with their woman in front of them. The common thread in these fantasies is that they satisfy the desire to "watch." Furthermore, fantasizing about a woman masturbating in front of them is also a popular sexual fantasy for many men.

From the perspective of personal satisfaction and macro-control of society, sexual fantasies, as a kind of seasoning for adjustment between couples, are far more positive than extramarital affairs. They are probably the most convenient additional stimulation, requiring the least investment and carrying the least risk.

However, it must be recognized that mature individuals are capable of rationally controlling all their thoughts and actions, and do not become overly dependent on anything. All human activities are subject to a certain "degree." Once this limit is exceeded, the associated "side effects" will expand, overshadowing the normal effects. Uncontrolled sexual fantasies, regardless of time or place, should not be encouraged. Sexual fantasies may occupy a significant place in individuals with overly developed imaginations and poor self-control, potentially leading to excessive indulgence, interference with normal study and work, replacement of necessary interpersonal interactions, and even the development of "compulsive sexual fantasy disorder" and "autism." Over-reliance on this particular form of mental stimulation can result in a loss of overall control over life. This is especially true for adolescents, whose active minds and poor self-control may lead to abnormal situations under strong sexual stimulation, requiring timely and positive guidance.

In short, sexual fantasies are a common psychological phenomenon, usually harmless or even beneficial. They can serve as a "psychological aphrodisiac" for sexual excitement, as well as a psychological defense mechanism, providing partial sexual satisfaction by substituting for unattainable sexual desires. However, if excessive indulgence in sexual daydreams interferes with normal life, or if the fantasies are excessively bizarre and firmly believed to be real, then it falls under the category of pathological fantasies or delusions, which may be a manifestation of schizophrenia or other mental illnesses. In such cases, the help of a psychiatrist should be sought.

During sexual intercourse, there are also very important foreplay and afterplay. Foreplay refers to the courtship process that occurs before intercourse. Foreplay is a way of expressing affection during sexual activity. Through mutual touching, holding, stroking, kissing, hugging, and rocking, both partners are aroused and sexually coordinated. Mutual massage between couples before sexual intercourse helps to eliminate tension and anxiety, achieve relaxation, arouse sexual desire, and gradually enter the state of arousal.

After intercourse, caressing is still necessary, known as post-coital caressing, and it is an important form of human sexual behavior. Sexual massage between couples differs from foreplay before intercourse. Sensitive areas (breasts and vulva) are not touched. Mutual sexual massage between couples is an excellent way to create a sensual atmosphere and express love and passion; it is a gentle, passionate, and pleasurable experience. For older couples, kissing and skin-to-skin touching are often the main components of sexual variations and can achieve sexual satisfaction.

**The rites performed by the Duke of Zhou should be followed step by step, without haste.**

Legend has it that in the early Western Zhou Dynasty, social morals declined, and folk marriage customs were chaotic. To enlighten the people and reform the society, the Duke of Zhou personally established rituals. He began with weddings, significantly reforming the chaotic state of male-female relations at the time. He divided the process from betrothal to marriage into seven stages: betrothal, asking the name, auspicious date selection, presenting betrothal gifts, setting the wedding date, the wedding ceremony, and consummation. Each stage was further detailed and specified, collectively known as the "Seven Rites of Marriage."

Nowadays, "the rites of Zhou Gong" usually refers to sexual intercourse between husband and wife. Typically, during this act, the man is in an active position. When a man experiences psychological or physical sexual stimulation, his sexual organs and other parts of his body undergo a series of physiological changes, also known as sexual arousal. Sexual behavior refers to the process of sexual intercourse, based on sexual arousal, involving contact or union of the sexual organs between two people, or activities involving the sexual organs without physical contact (such as masturbation).

Besides psychological changes, male sexual arousal primarily manifests as penile erection and ejaculation. Penile erection is a crucial foundation for maintaining male sexual function. Ejaculation is the expulsion of semen from the penis. It is a primary characteristic of male orgasm. Ejaculation is entirely a reflex action; the impulse originates from the glans penis, transmitted via the pudendal nerve, and is completed through coordinated movements of various parts of the reproductive tract. First, the smooth muscles of the epididymis and vas deferens contract in a specific sequence, pushing sperm from the epididymis into the urethra, where they mix with seminal fluid secreted by the prostate and seminal vesicles to form semen. At this time, the body closes the passage between the bladder and urethra to prevent semen or urine from entering the bladder or urethra. Finally, the contraction of the penile and perineal muscles expels the semen from the urethra through the external urethral opening.

During ejaculation, the rhythmic contractions of the aforementioned muscles can give a man a strong sense of pleasure, thus leading to orgasm.

Sexual arousal can generally be divided into four stages: excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. During sexual activity, the period from excitement to the mid-plateau typically involves mutual caressing before sexual intercourse, a time of emotional connection. The late plateau and orgasm usually occur during sexual intercourse. Resolution is the period of separation. Men also experience these four stages during sexual intercourse.

1. Excitation phase

This phase occurs under the combined effect of external sexual stimulation and internal sexual impulses, lasting from a few minutes to several hours. Upon sexual stimulation, the male's central nervous system immediately reacts, generating sexual desire. This leads to increased blood flow to the penis, penile erection, smoothing of the scrotal skin, and a flattening of the scrotum. The testicles rise and enlarge due to engorgement. A small amount of fluid secreted by the bulbourethral glands or prostate gland appears at the urethral opening. Males may experience nipple erection and breast swelling. Muscles tense or contract, heart rate increases, blood pressure rises slightly, and breathing accelerates. Psychologically, sexual desire is significantly heightened, resulting in sexual arousal.

2. Duration (also known as plateau or climax)

After entering the excitement phase, the plateau phase begins before orgasm. Further engorgement of the corpora cavernosa leads to a more pronounced erection and increased rigidity. The penile circumference increases, and the glans penis darkens to a purplish-red color. The scrotal skin continues to contract and thicken. The testes enlarge due to engorgement and rise in position. Additionally, a small amount of mucus discharges from the urethral opening; this is secretion from the bulbourethral glands and may lubricate the urethra and glans penis. Nipple erection and a feeling of breast swelling may occur. A papular erythema appears, starting in the upper abdomen, spreading to the chest, and then extending to the neck, face, and forehead. The heart rate increases significantly, reaching 110–170 beats per minute. Blood pressure rises, with systolic pressure increasing by 20–80 mmHg, and respiration further accelerates.

Sustained arousal is generally built up through sexual intercourse and gradually leads to the sustained phase of orgasm. The duration of this phase varies greatly from person to person, and it is one of the important criteria for the clinical diagnosis of premature ejaculation. In men with premature ejaculation, the duration of this phase is usually very short.